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Susan
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You'll find lots of information here
A Scots
boy came home from school and told his mother he had been given a part in the
school play. "Wonderful," says the mother, "What part is it?"
The boy says "I play the part of the Scottish husband!" The mother
scowls and says: "Go back and tell your teacher you want a speaking
part." ********************************************************** Five
Englishmen boarded a train just behind five Scots, who, as a group had only
purchased one ticket. Just before the conductor came through, all the Scots
piled into the toilet stall at the back of the car. As the conductor passed the
stall, he knocked and called "Tickets, please!" and one of the Scots
slid a ticket under the door. It was punched, pushed back under the door, and
when it was safe all the Scots came out and took their seats. The Englishmen
were tremendously impressed by the Scots' ingenuity. On the trip back, the five
Englishmen decided to try this themselves and purchased only one ticket. They
noticed that, oddly, the Scots had not purchased any tickets this time. Anyway,
again, just before the conductor came through, the Scots piled into one of the
toilet stalls, the Englishmen into the other. Then one of the Scots leaned out,
knocked on the Englishmen's stall and called "Ticket, Please!" When
the ticket slid out under the door, he picked it up and quickly closed the door. ********************************************************** Irate
golfer, on his way to a round of 150: "You must be the worst caddie in the
world!" ********************************************************** A Scotsman & a Englishman are strolling along the beach when they find a lamp. They clean it up and out pops a genie. "I'll give you each one wish
for freeing me" says the genie. "I believe in an England for the English, I'm sick and tired of all these Jocks coming into MY country. I wish for a huge wall around England - to keep the English in and the Scots out"
POOF and it's done. The Scotsman thinks. "Genie?" he says "tell me about this wall".
"Well" says the genie "it's 500 feet high, a third of a mile
thick, nothing can get in and nothing can get out". "OK" says the
Scotsman "Fill it with water". **********************************************************
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| Scotland, Central, Dumfries & Galloway, Fife, Grampian, Highland, Lothian, Strathclyde, Tayside, Orkney Islands Area, Shetland Islands Area, Western Isles Islands Area |
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Scottish newspapers http://www.wrx.zen.co.uk/scotland.htm
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Sport
Curling
For the rules and so on... http://www.worldcurlingfederation.org/
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Staff photographs courtesy of Guy CHUITTON ENSTB
Copyright © 2002 Eamonn Ryall Mary Gravot Patrick McLaughlin