Scotland

 

    

 Susan

 

Symbols

thistle   kilt bagpipe whisky nessie
         

                      

                                                                                    

 

You'll find lots of information here

Lonely Planet Scotland

 

 

Jokes

A Scots boy came home from school and told his mother he had been given a part in the school play. "Wonderful," says the mother, "What part is it?" The boy says "I play the part of the Scottish husband!" The mother scowls and says: "Go back and tell your teacher you want a speaking part."

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Five Englishmen boarded a train just behind five Scots, who, as a group had only purchased one ticket. Just before the conductor came through, all the Scots piled into the toilet stall at the back of the car. As the conductor passed the stall, he knocked and called "Tickets, please!" and one of the Scots slid a ticket under the door. It was punched, pushed back under the door, and when it was safe all the Scots came out and took their seats. The Englishmen were tremendously impressed by the Scots' ingenuity. On the trip back, the five Englishmen decided to try this themselves and purchased only one ticket. They noticed that, oddly, the Scots had not purchased any tickets this time. Anyway, again, just before the conductor came through, the Scots piled into one of the toilet stalls, the Englishmen into the other. Then one of the Scots leaned out, knocked on the Englishmen's stall and called "Ticket, Please!" When the ticket slid out under the door, he picked it up and quickly closed the door.

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Irate golfer, on his way to a round of 150: "You must be the worst caddie in the world!"
Scottish caddie (dryly): "That would be too much of a coincidence, sir."  

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A Scotsman & a Englishman  are strolling along the beach when they find a lamp. They clean it up and out pops a genie. 

"I'll give you each one wish for freeing me" says the genie.
The Englishman thinks then wishes.

 "I believe in an England for the English, I'm sick and tired of all these Jocks coming into MY country. I wish for a huge wall around England - to keep the English in and the Scots out" 

POOF and it's done.

The Scotsman thinks. 

"Genie?" he says "tell me about this wall". 

"Well" says the genie "it's 500 feet high, a third of a mile thick, nothing can get in and nothing can get out". "OK" says the Scotsman "Fill it with water".

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Check out these web pages for regional information about
Scotland
Central, Dumfries & Galloway, Fife, Grampian, Highland, Lothian, Strathclyde, Tayside, Orkney Islands Area, Shetland Islands Area, Western Isles Islands Area

Scottish newspapers

http://www.wrx.zen.co.uk/scotland.htm

 

Sport

Curling            

 

For the rules and so on... http://www.worldcurlingfederation.org/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Staff photographs courtesy of Guy CHUITTON  ENSTB

Copyright © 2002 Eamonn Ryall Mary Gravot Patrick McLaughlin